Alysia Nicole Harris:
American poet based out of Atlanta. She is a Cave Canem fellow, was twice nominated for the Pushcart Prize, and won the Stephen Dunn Poetry Prize in 2014 and 2015.[1] She has performed spoken word poetry in Germany, Canada, Slovakia, South Africa, and the UK, and at the United Nations.
The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment you absolutely and utterly have to walk away.
The statement essentially says: as soon as you have to prove yourself to be considered valuable by someone else, that is a signal that the relationship (friendship, love, work) is not healthy. Appreciation and respect should simply be there — you don’t have to earn them by constantly justifying or proving yourself. The advice, therefore, is: walk away, instead of continuing to invest energy in someone who does not automatically acknowledge your value.
The quote is frequently used in the context of self-respect, setting boundaries, and toxic relationships (romantic, platonic, or even professional).
Author and origin:
The quote is generally attributed to Alysia (also spelled Alyssia) Nicole Harris, an American poet, spoken-word artist, and linguist. She is a Cave Canem Fellow, was nominated twice for the Pushcart Prize, and won the Stephen Dunn Poetry Prize in 2014 and 2015. She studied linguistics at the University of Pennsylvania and earned an MFA in poetry from NYU, and later a PhD in linguistics from Yale. A few notes regarding the origin:
– There is no findable published source (collection, poem, interview) in which this exact sentence first appears — the quote circulates primarily via Tumblr and quote collection sites, which is typical for statements that go viral without a clear traceable source.
– In some places, the quote is mistakenly attributed to a certain Alyse Morales or simply listed as “Unknown” — a sign that the origin has not been definitively established.
– The earliest findable mention online dates from around 2014, on Tumblr/quote blogs, which fits the picture that it started circulating as a standalone quote before being linked to Harris.
In short: the attribution to Alysia Harris is the most common and likely correct one, but as with many quotes that have gone viral, the exact original context (which poem, interview, or post) cannot be determined with certainty.
