Milan Kundera

Milan Kundera:

(Brno, Czech Republic, 1 April 1929 – Paris, France, 11 July 2023) Czech writer who moved to France in 1975. There he was also a lecturer in comparative literature at the University of Rennes.

Dreaming is not only an act of communication; it is also an aesthetic activity, a game of the imagination, a game that has a value in itself.

While experiencing your loneliness, you can be unhappy or happy. Having that choice is what defines your freedom.

The only real reason for friendship’s existence is to provide a mirror in which the other person can view his image of the past, which would have faded long ago without the eternal blah blah of friends about how it was.

The only relationship that can make both partners happy is one in which sentimentality has no place and neither partner lays claim to the other’s life and freedom.

It is not only those who remain children for too long who are childish; so too are those who tear themselves away from childhood and believe that what they cannot see no longer exists.

Image: Peter van Geest AI. **Meaning 🧠:** A double critique of *“childishness”:* Childishness isn’t limited to those who remain children for too long (naive, dependent). Equally childish is those who radically reject their childhood and start thinking like a baby without *“object permanence”:* what you don’t see, no longer exists. *Message:* Adulthood means taking the invisible and absent into account—the past, responsibility, the suffering of others, facts that are pushed out of sight. To deny it is morally and intellectually shortsighted. **Origin and context 🧭:** This quote closely aligns with the central theme of Kundera’s novel: the erasure of memories (both private and political), the rewriting of history, and the temptation to pretend that what has disappeared from view doesn’t exist. The phrasing implicitly references the psychological concept of *“object permanence” (Piaget):* the insight that things continue to exist even when you don’t see them. Original formulation (often-cited French version) 🇫🇷: “N’est pas infantile seulement celui qui reste enfant trop longtemps; l’est also celui qui s’arrache à l’infance et croit que th’il ne voit pas n’existe plus.” Work: Milan Kundera, Le Livre du rire et de l’oubli (1979). The Dutch version is a translation variant; the wording may differ slightly per edition. *Core summary* **✍️ Author:** *Milan Kundera.* Work/year: Het boek van de lach en de vergetheid, 1979. *Message:* A warning against two forms of infantilism—enduring naiveté and adult denial of what is out of sight.

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